Seyma Loses It Instalment 5 ~ Mean Hijabs

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

What does hijab mean to you? Does it mean to dress modestly? Does it mean to cover your hair? What about your hands and face too? There are many different interpretations of what hijab entails. For example some people I know believe that colourful hijabs are a big No-No whereas other people may think that this is not an issue at all. This topic is so hot that it is constantly being discussed and dissected to bits but there is one aspect of hijab that is always overlooked and rarely discussed, that is how a hijabi should behave. People are so worried about what she wore or what so and so said or what degree I have and how much money I  make that they are forgetting their aklah. Rudeness is so common these days that it is rampant even amongst Muslim organisations. Salams ignored? Check. Insulting and putting each other down? Check. Laughing at anothers misfortune? Check. It's so easy to point fingers at one another and forget ourselves in nasty dialogue that it soon becomes OK to give Islamic advice in a demeaning manner. What ever happened to catching more bees with honey? Instead holy Hadith's are now barked into our faces without so much as a Salam for a greeting. I know of so many non-hijabi sisters who are the perfect model of modesty and have the kindest manners and then I know hijabi's who are so rude, arrogant and crude that they would turn anyone interested in Islam right off. Yes we should all try to help each other onto the right path but there is a time, a place and a manner in which things should be said. Don't embarrass your fellow sister amongst her peers, instead pull her aside and try to relate with her. Don't gossip behind her back about how much haram she is doing, instead try to guide her as a concerned friend. So my dears, hijab is not just something to cover our bodies with and the rest is good as gold. Hijab is also the way we interact, the way we smile at one another, the way we encourage each other, the way we praise the good and forget the bad, the way we perceive and want to be perceived and finally it is also about the way we behave and talk. To me these things are even more important then wearing hijab One cannot be covered from head to toe and also have a mouth a fisherman would be proud of. No, we must also love each other and respect one another without any ulterior motives. We must try to help each other in a way that endears us and makes us want to better ourselves. Always remember that nobody is perfect and people make mistakes, this is what makes us human and what makes us who we are and despite the fact that you may look the part, if your heart is filled with jealousy, anger and pride then mate, that does not make you a hijabi.
And please remember that anything I write also applies to me. We are all striving to better ourselves and Inshallah we can build and strengthen our Iman. Amin.

11 comments:

  1. Wow! This is just what I wanted to say when I hear about other people talking about my back, about my hijab, about that I am not a hijabi (!), about how disgusting (!) I look.. Yeah, you've heard it right..
    You cannot even imagine how many people out there call themselves Muslims, yet when it comes to this topic, they can easily (without a doubt) attack at other people who do not look like themselves. {The attacker (yeah, I call them attackers!) wears tight jeans, wears shawls and all, that's Ok for her, but she doesn't wear make-up. So, she goes on and on about that person who is just like her, but oh no! This other girl does wear make-up, you know. She cannot be like her. Therefore, she is the biggest sinner!!} You get my point?
    People are OK with other people's misbehaviors and sins as long as they are equal of themselves'. But if you cross that line and do something more, you need to find yourself a spot far away from the crowd, because they are gonna say whatever comes to their mind and they're gonna be mean. I mean really mean!
    A Muslim should be respectful, understanding and indulgent. We shouldn't point out our mistakes out in public. If you call yourself a faithful Muslim, you should pull that person aside and talk about the issues that are concerning you out from the crowd. Nobody ever does that! They feel satisfied pointing out your mistakes and feel some kind of pleasure out of that act. Sounds weird? Yeah, but so true!

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  2. Hey seyma, I totally agree with you! It's the same problem everywhere ( I'm french!), and this issue concern also muslims boys, concerning for example the bear, qamis...
    It's really sad to see muslims behave like this, whereas islam is a religion based on understanding! My friend told me that some girls in her area, wear niqab, and criticize the other who wear just a hijab, thinking they are not good muslimah! It's crazy. I mean, wearing hijab in europe, and specially in France, is so difficult, that if we have to support criticisms from ours sisters and brothers.... it will impossible!

    I hope, seyma you understand what i mean,i have done my best :-)

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  3. I love this entry it tooks my soul and I thing you're absolutely right, hijab is not only that we have to cover our self and dress modestly, as you said, hijab is the way we behave, the way we talk to other people. I specially like twhen you descrive what is hijab for you. I love it :D
    Thanks for posting this for us, thanks for letting know I think the everyone who reads this will think about the way she is behave, I'm doing right nnow, this entry makes me think about my behaviour :D

    Thanks :D
    Salam!

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  4. I love this entry it tooks my soul and I thing you're absolutely right, hijab is not only that we have to cover our self and dress modestly, as you said, hijab is the way we behave, the way we talk to other people. I specially like twhen you descrive what is hijab for you. I love it :D
    Thanks for posting this for us, thanks for letting know I think the everyone who reads this will think about the way she is behave, I'm doing right nnow, this entry makes me think about my behaviour :D

    Thanks :D
    Salam!

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  5. Hello dear!

    I'm a little ashamed to be a follower and reader of your blog but never comment.
    Although I am not a Muslim, I think people forget to respect each other regardless of religion. We all have differences, even if our hands, the five fingers are different. So how to label someone?! We must respect?!

    A big kiss!

    http://deiafsalim.blogspot.com/
    @ DeiaFSalim

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  6. Well put my dear. Of late our motto has become, 'be harsh on yourself, gentle on others.'

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  7. Good one Shmoo, totally agree and Al thats a great motto to have!

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  8. So true beautifully said.... Do u know that u can come up with 70 excuses why someone has erred but unfortunately ppl cant even come up with one

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  9. Hijabify the heart! Great post dear.

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  10. Salams I know this comment is way late as this post is not recent but I just had to comment. Non hijabis need to do some changing too. I am Muslim but don't wear hijab. I had to get over wanting the approval of people. So now if someone is critical of me or even rude for not wearing the hijab I no longer feel offended. Instead I feel sorry for the other person to get so upset over my choice. I figure they can't be very happy themselves. I have been a Muslim for going on 14 years and did wear hijab for quite some time but it was not for me. People need to be free to grow and change. That criticalness and judgement comes from a person's own dissatisfaction with themselves and they project that onto others. So be happy with yourself first. Be true to yourself first-be it as a hijabi or non hijabi and no one can touch you.

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Salaams! Strictly no religious debates or blatantly rude comments! HR is all about love! Also if you want to ask me/tell me something in private please email me at hijabrevival@hotmail.com THANK YOU!